Densans for Mensans

I am on an e-mail group with a bunch of Mensans where a recent topic led to several of them revealing that they removed their Mensa membership from resumes lest they be thought of as "overqualified". Many also do not mention it to folks unless they are sure of a friendly reception. Since I like to joke that I am a Densan, I posted this...

Press Release
November 11, 2005

Rochester Hills, Michigan - American Densa Inc. today announced a new program called "Densans for Mensans". This effort will reach out to the unfairly traumatized 2% of the population that faces intellectual discrimination.

"The consequences can be very sad," says Keith Hughes, President of American Densa. "These are our most intelligent, our most gifted individuals. It is because of people like them that we sent a man to the moon, mastered flight, and have green ketchup."

"But the discrimination that society's brightest stars face when they admit that they are members in Mensa is shocking. Many hide the fact that they are Mensans. These poor individuals keep Mensa membership off their resume, to avoid the stigma of being called ‘over qualified’."

"Many Mensans act ‘normal’ to try to fit in, ending sentences with prepositions and saying ‘ain't’ all day long. But many lead a double life. At night they sneak out to grammar bars to argue comma usage and punctuation placement."

"Some cannot stand the strain and drop out entirely. Larry was a leading Mensan in the Detroit area. He was involved in Mensa regional groups and national gatherings, but then the troubles began. It began with '‘smarty pants'’ spray-painted on his garage door, and quickly escalated to a semi-colon being burned on his lawn in the dead of night. Now Larry has dropped off the grid and is working under an assumed name as a garbage man in California."

To combat this problem American Densa is providing education and information to raise Mensan awareness. This includes a short video entitled "How to love a Mensan". Classes that are also offered include "Support your Mensan: The Nod-And-Smile Method", "Enduring Buzzwords: What To Do When A Mensan Talks Over Your Head", and "2% vs. 98%: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?" For a complete schedule visit www.AmericanDensa.org.

American Densa Ltd. is an organization that recognizes that average intelligence is a gift, too. Through a celebration of mediocre thought, Densans impact society with half-baked ideas and philosophies that will be around for years. Most politicians and TV anchormen are members of Densa. For membership information visit www.AmericanDensa.org.

(NOTE: The website mentioned above is fictional and does not exist. Yet.)

The Top 10 Things I Hate About The Office

Like many people I work in an office, and most offices are unique sub-cultures filled with really annoying people. This is my top 10 list of things that I hate about the office.

10. People who don't make more coffee when they empty the pot, they just turn off the burner. Apparently these bozos think that once they are done drinking coffee, we're all done. Well I got news for you, I'm not done drinking coffee!

9. PEOPLE WHO SHOUT IN THEIR EMAILS

8. people who whisper in their e-mails

7. People who like to talk too much. I mean I just go to the lunch room to get some coffee when I get waylaid by some jerk who can't wait to tell me old, stale stories I've already heard about his wife and kids. He just goes on and on until my coffee is cold and I am ready to shout "Fire!" just to get away. Then he pauses, and just when I think I can finally escape he takes a deep breath and comes up with a whole new line of thought about what a pain it is to put the TPS reports together and why putting the cover page on is so important...

6. Dirty dishes left in the lunchroom sink. Hello! Does your mother work here? Do you think that the dish fairy is going to come tonight, wash your stuff, and leave it on your desk?

5. People who put food down the lunchroom sink even though it does not have a disposal. Hello! All that standing water is not some new water conservation measure. It's there because you plugged up the sink, you idiot!

4. Why is the printer always out of paper when I print a document?!?

3. We can put a man on the moon, but we can't heat or cool an office building properly. Why do we freeze in the summer and boil in the winter? Is this how janitors get even?

2. People who lower the height of my chair when I'm away from my desk. Some people might like to tuck their knees under their chin when they work, but I am not one of them.

1. Anyone who comes up to me at the end of the day and says "Can you stay late and get this done? I forgot it was an emergency."