How It Came To Be.... The French Horn

If you have ever attended a symphonic concert you may have noticed that players of the French Horn do so with their hand stuck in the bell of their instrument. You might wonder why they play their instruments in such an odd manner.

Now this mystery will be revealed. This is... How It Came To Be

The year was 1860 and Horace Goldblatt, a noted musical
inventor, and just finished his latest creation. He was so
struck with the circular beauty of this instrument he
decided to name it after himself and call it the Goldblatt
Horn.

As enthralled as Horace was with the looks of his horn, it
also had a major problem. When he brought it to his lips,
with the horn pointed up, it sounded like a sheep with a
digestion problem. Blaat! Blaaat!! went the horn.

Horace tweaked and adjusted the instrument and even
tried a different mouth piece to improve the sound, but
nothing worked.

Horace was not alone in his inventor's shop that day as
he twiddled and fiddled with his horn. Recent storms
had caused his roof to leak, and a plasterer was working
high above him on a scaffold to repair his ceiling. As
Horace tested his latest changes, the laborer stopped
for a mid-morning snack.

Out of his lunch pail the workman retrieved a delicacy
known as the French Crueller. It looked like a small
wagon wheel with deep treads around the outside.
The confection slipped from his fingers just as he was
about to take a bite. The workman watched in horror
as it bounced off of his knee and fell toward Horace
and his horn.

Horace blew once again into his instrument. Blaaat!
Blaa--- Suddenly a warm, mellow tone issued from
the horn. It was the most beautiful note that Horace
had ever heard. He was astonished, he was delighted,
and he was perplexed. What had he done to make his
horn sound so wonderful?

Just then the workman got Horace's attention and
asked for his crueller back. Horace stared at him in
befuddlement, but the worker just pointed to the
horn's bell. Horace looked in the bell of the horn
and there was the crueller wedged in the opening,
the unique tire-tread design still allowing air to
flow out of the horn.

Horace removed the crueller and blew into the
horn. Blaaat! Then, over the protests of the
workman, he wedged the crueller back in the
horn. He blew again, and the rich tone returned.
Horace smiled as he told himself that his horn
would make him famous.

Ten years later, his instrument was the talk of
the orchestral circuit, but fame was not Horace's
lot. The instrument was quickly renamed the
French Horn in honor of the confection that was
an intrigul part of the instrument. The musicians
who played the horn were also immensely popular
as they always traveled with a few dozen French
Crullers on hand.

The foremost musician with this instrument at
the time was Ignisi Humbolt. A large, rotund man
with a cheerful disposition, Iggy was well known
for his musicianship and his appetite. He was so
successful that he actually hired a crueller-boy
who traveled with him. This unfortunate job
consisted of making sure that cruellers were
always on hand, and that Iggy did not eat so
many of the cruellers that there were none left
at concert time.

As part of a world tour Iggy was invited to
Rome to play with the orchestra there. Sadly,
his crueller-boy had fallen ill and was not with
him on this leg of the trip. Iggy arrived in Italy
with his horn and three dozen French Cruellers.

His train was late and he had to rush from the
station straight to orchestra hall without any
stops for dinner. Simple fare had been provided
on the train, but Iggy turned his nose up at such
a pedestrian meal.

Iggy reached his dressing room and changed into
his tux. Then as he was removing his French Horn
from its case his eyes fell on the three boxes of
cruellers. His stomach rumbled loudly as he
opened the first box. He grabbed a crueller but
instead of stuffing it in the bell of his instrument he
stuffed it into his mouth.

A short while later Iggy sat licking the delectable
glaze off of his fingers amid the ruins of the three
crueller boxes. He came out of his sugar-induced
stupor as a knock came at his door and the stage
manager informed him that there was only five
minutes until the concert began.

Iggy picked up his horn from where he had
dropped it during his crueller orgy and looked in
the bell. To his surprise it was empty. He looked
at the boxes strewn on the floor and saw that
they too were empty.

Panic began to grip Iggy's soul. He was ruined.
He could not play this instrument without the
cruellers, and he had foolishly eaten them all. He
covered his face in his hands and frantically tried
to think what he could stuff in the horn that
would save his career.

Suddenly he opened his eyes and stared at his
hands, which were still covering his face. Maybe,
just maybe, it would work. He picked up his horn
and shifted it so that the bell pointed toward his
right hand, which he inserted in the bell of the horn.

Iggy took a deep breath and blew. To his surprise
the rich mellow tone that resulted was even better
than when using the crueller. Iggy also discovered
that by shifting his fingers he could vary the tone
in unique and delightful ways. During the concert
the murmuring that started when Iggy positioned
his instrument in this unorthodox manner was
quickly silenced by the dulcet tones that followed.
The concert was a success, and Iggy became even
more renowned.

To this day players of the French Horn use Iggy's
method for playing. Even though it no longer owes
its success to cruellers, the name continues to pay
homage to the confection that took the instrument
from the workshop to the concert hall. The French
Crueller's contribution to music lives on as many
musicians tell of an unexpected craving for cruellers
that comes over them as they play the French Horn.

And now you know... How It Came To Be!