Politically Incorrect Literature

A recent news story in the London Times (see it here) told about a re-telling of the Three Little Pigs that was criticized by judges in a contest because it was considered to be offensive to Muslims and those in the construction industry.

Apparently because Muslims are forbidden to eat pork, they might take offense at a children's story that features pigs. Construction workers might take offense in the facts that the builders were pigs, two of the houses fell down, and the the pigs wore cowboy hats (as not all builders are cowboys).

So, with similar criteria to what the contest judges used in this case, I felt it was high time for another look at some classic and children's literature titles.

Moby Dick - This brutal story depicts the objectification, degradation, and murder of the proudest of sea creatures. This leads to feelings of isolation and poor self-esteem in the whale community, and in those who study and care for whales. In a related note, humpback whales should now be referred to as spine-challenged whales.

Go, Dog, Go - In this supposedly innocent children's book those who drive cars are depicted as dogs, which is very demeaning. It assumes that all drivers like to stick their heads out of the window as they drive, and that a healthy percentage of all drivers have fleas. This book also offends the color blind with its heavy reliance on the colors green and red for "go" and "stop".

1984 - A caustic tale that engenders mistrust in the government. It has caused inefficiencies in bureaucracies across the globe as government workers are demonized as being part of "Big Brother", and is directly responsible for the tensions that resulted in the cold war. Also, 1984 is wildly inaccurate as it clearly teaches that 2+2=5.

Green Eggs and Ham - Here we go with the pork products again, so strike one for offending the Muslims. Strike two for offending the lactose intolerant at the thought of being relentlessly badgered to try the eggs by the evil Sam I Am. Strike three is the obvious bias against the color green by depicting it as unsavory and unappetizing, which marginalizes green-colored folk like Kermit the Frog and the Jolly Green Giant.

A Christmas Carol - This book clearly advocates a class structure of "haves" and "have nots", and also contains disturbing scenes that may upset the recently dead. There is not one female character in the book named Carol, which could cause stress and disappointment to those so named. The frequent use of the word "Christmas" is sure to offend the Muslims, Hindu, Wiccans, pagans, agnostics, atheists, adherents of Festivus, and followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn that might read this book. I would suggest we need a new edition of this book called A Non-Denominational Mid-Winter Song of Joy and Happiness.