Strange Things I Seen on Vacation

We went on our yearly trip to Nashville to attend the CAAS convention, and I saw some strange things on this trip. Here are the ones I recorded for posterity:

I've fallen and I can't get up! Somewhere in Ohio (or possibly Kentucky): We were driving through an area with high rock walls on either side of the highway and there was a sign posted that read "Fallen Rock Zone". If a rock had already fallen, why did I care? Aren't they more dangerous when they are falling? I could imagine someone at the highway department calling the sign department and saying (in a slight twang), "Hey y'all, we need a new sign that says 'Fallin' Rock Zone' for I-75." The result is the sign I saw.

Are we speaking the same language? We were traveling in Illinois and Indiana on some two lane roads where the speed limit was 55 MPH. Before too long I saw a sign that said "Speed Zone Ahead". Great, I thought, now we can go 65 or maybe 70! I revved my engine in anticipation. But when I came to the next speed limit sign I was directed to SLOW DOWN to 45 MPH. I saw this sign several times. Sometimes I had to "speed down" to 35 MPH. Maybe the sign meant this was my opportunity to speed because the limit was going down? I chose not to fill the coffers of every little town we drove through by rocketing through at 55 MPH and getting the attention of the local constable.

Are sheets and towels extra? We passed though Mt. Carmel, Illinois, a small burg that sports two traffic lights, a tavern, and the Shamrock Hotel. I am used to seeing hotels list their amenities on their sign (such as HBO, whirlpool tubs, etc.) as an enticement to use their facilities. The Shamrock is for travelers who prefer more spartan accommodations, as the three benefits listed on its sign were air conditioning, hot water, and heat. Do ya feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?

On the table cloth's what? This last item breaks more rules than I care to count. This was posted on the wall at a senior center in Mt. Vernon, Indiana where we attended a family reunion. Apparently any food was OK to put on the table, as long as it wasn't too spicy.