She said what?!?

Yesterday my wife came to me and said, "We just got an e-mail from our internet service provider and they are going to double our ..."

Omigod! omigod! She's going to say "rates"! Ooo-migod! screamed my brain.

"...speed," she finished.

Omigod! They're doubling our rates!

Yo, brainiac! Listen up, said Leftear, she said "speed".

Are, are you sure? stammered my grey matter.

Of course I'm sure. Hey, Rightie! What did you hear?

I heard what you heard Lefty, said Rightear, eager to please. She said "speed".

Boy I hope so, said the brain, but I'm still not sure. Eyes, what did you see?

It's hard to be certain, started Righteye.

As we were starting to roll up into our sockets, continued Lefteye.

But it certainly looked like she said "speed", the eyes said together.

You're sure? my brain asked.

Oh, indubitably, said Righteye, although I'm not as clear as Lefteye.

Please, stop it, said Lefteye, blushing. We both know you are the sharpest. But I definitely think I saw "speed".

Oh no, you're the sharpest.

Please, I've got that astigmatism thing going.

How about you, said my brain to the tongue, interrupting the eyes. What do you think?

Dude, I don't know what I'M saying most of the time, droned the tongue. I taste and I talk, don't expect more than that.

All right, said my brain, hope starting to grow. Let's take a vote. All in favor of "speed"?

Aye! said Leftear.

Aye! said Rightear.

Me! said the eyes.

What-ever! said the tongue.

I cleared my parched throat, plastered a weak smile on my face, and said, "That's great."

"Are you OK?", she asked.

"Sure, I'm fine. I'm just glad it's good news."