I have noticed that my name isn't working hard enough for me these days. After all, it doesn't give me any special recognition or perks. But I have noticed a few possibilities that will give me the attention I deserve.
Valet - I don't know who this Valet guy is, but he always has the best parking spaces reserved at restaurants or hotels. With my name changed to Valet, I can park in those premium spots whenever I want!
Emergency - This name change would also get me great parking at the hospital near the ER, where there are always signs stating "Emergency Vehicles Only". No parking on the top floor of the parking deck. Also, every store and restaurant has a special exit just for me! Most even have an alarm attached so everyone will see me making my exciting getaway.
Authorized - With this name I can use those handy turn-arounds on the freeway that are marked "Authorized Vehicles Only". I could also gain access to bank vaults and secret military complexes. When asked if I am authorized, I could honestly state, "I am" and flash my new drivers license.
While any of these names will work, I think I will go with my favorite. If you need to find me I'll be at the grocery store in the express lane with a full cart .
Sincerely,
15 Items or Less
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