A Well-Traveled Geek

It occurred to me recently just what a well-traveled guy I am. I have visited Buckingham Palace, seen the underside of the Eiffel tower, driven the Autobahn in Germany, walked in the villages around Normandy, motorcycled through the swamps of Louisiana, caught a train in Egypt, thoroughly explored the city of Bayview, and visited the many peoples on the island of Vvardenfell. Despite this impressive pedigree my passport remains uncluttered by visas and customs stamps. You might wonder how this could be, and my answer is simple: I am a well-traveled geek.

This really hit me last weekend as my wife and I were watching Rush Hour 3. At one point in the movie Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker parachute off of the Eiffel Tower and land in a nearby fountain. As the camera followed the duo into the water I fondly remembered driving my Audi TT through that very same fountain. But then something ugly intruded into my thoughts: reality.

I have never been France. Indeed, I have never left North America. I have the requisite trips to Canada and Mexico, but I have never boarded a plane or boat bound for England, Australia, or Japan. The longest I have flown has been from Michigan to California, and I have never been on a flight that showed a movie.

So then what of my memories of France, Egypt, Peru, and Scotland? Am I suffering from delusions or madness? No, I play video games. I drove throughout the city of Paris in Midtown Madness 3, and inflicted vehicular mayhem on London in Midtown Madness 2. I have visited Egypt and Peru with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. I have sampled the Hong Kong night life with Indiana Jones. I have sped over the hills of San Francisco, and climbed to the rooftops of Tokyo.

In some cases my memories of the geography of these places is quite detailed. I learned more about getting around Washington DC from playing Midtown Madness 3 than I did from my visit there a few years ago. It just doesn't seem fair that all this experience shouldn't count just because it happened in a virtual medium. I am a world traveler, but I do most of my travel from in front of my Xbox.

So even though my physical passport is quite empty, my virtual passport is almost full. I can flip through the pages and remember all the places I visited and the adventures I had there. My luggage has never been lost, and the local water has never made me sick. And as I reach the last page I see I have another spot left open for a new destination. A new adventure that only a well-traveled geek can appreciate.

Russia, anyone?